BULLY PREVENTION
With the school year about to begin, I feel it’s important that I discuss a topic of significant concern amongst kids and parents these days: bullying. Many people believe that kids are either bullies or the target of bullies, but there is a third group of people. Some children aren’t bullied at all. Their secret Anti-Bully weapon: confidence. Bullies, just like muggers, are looking for easy targets. They’re much more likely to avoid picking on children who demonstrate confidence and instead search for those who are more easily intimidated.
Even if you don’t feel confident, practice using confident body language in your every day life. As Master Borucki used to tell me, “Fake it ‘til you make it!” Think about how a timid, insecure person would stand, walk, and talk. Then, think about how a confident person presents himself. The confident person stands tall, shoulders pulled back, eyes forward rather than down on the ground and he does not keep his hands in his pockets. The confident person doesn’t expect to be mistreated.
If a bully approaches you, be assertive. Rather than moving away from the bully, move closer to him, but not closer than arm’s reach for your safety. Maintain your confident body language, but don’t assume a fighting stance. You don’t want the bully to think you want to fight, but simply that you are confident enough to stand up for yourself. If you feel you need to de-escalate the situation, use the same posture that we practice for punch defense (AKA the “Hey, Chill” pose). Stand with your feet apart, hands up in front of you with your palms facing towards the bully. Make sure that your hands are not too far back in the “I give up” pose.
Even though the bully will attempt to, and may even succeed at making you feel bad, don’t let them know that it hurts. The bully wants to hurt your feelings, so don’t give him the satisfaction. Don’t let them get to you. When they say something bad about you, say something positive to yourself. Remind yourself of your positive characteristics. Take up a hobby or practice a skill that will make you feel good about yourself and that others will think is neat.
One tactic Master Borucki’s son has used to great effect is to disarm the bully with a witty remark or humor. For example, if a bully brags by saying something that is obvious such as, “I’m stronger than you,” you could reply, “Well, duh!” You can also simply laugh at his comment and walk away calmly and with confidence.
Walk with friends whenever you can. It’s much more difficult for a bully to go after a group than it is an isolated individual, especially if your friends are prepared to stand up for you. Remember, bullies look for easy targets! Likewise, be prepared to stand up for other students who are bullied.
If you are being bullied, talk openly and honestly about the situation with your parents and teachers. Remember, nobody deserves to be bullied. For more information on bully prevention, visit the Bully Free Program.
Even if you don’t feel confident, practice using confident body language in your every day life. As Master Borucki used to tell me, “Fake it ‘til you make it!” Think about how a timid, insecure person would stand, walk, and talk. Then, think about how a confident person presents himself. The confident person stands tall, shoulders pulled back, eyes forward rather than down on the ground and he does not keep his hands in his pockets. The confident person doesn’t expect to be mistreated.
If a bully approaches you, be assertive. Rather than moving away from the bully, move closer to him, but not closer than arm’s reach for your safety. Maintain your confident body language, but don’t assume a fighting stance. You don’t want the bully to think you want to fight, but simply that you are confident enough to stand up for yourself. If you feel you need to de-escalate the situation, use the same posture that we practice for punch defense (AKA the “Hey, Chill” pose). Stand with your feet apart, hands up in front of you with your palms facing towards the bully. Make sure that your hands are not too far back in the “I give up” pose.
Even though the bully will attempt to, and may even succeed at making you feel bad, don’t let them know that it hurts. The bully wants to hurt your feelings, so don’t give him the satisfaction. Don’t let them get to you. When they say something bad about you, say something positive to yourself. Remind yourself of your positive characteristics. Take up a hobby or practice a skill that will make you feel good about yourself and that others will think is neat.
One tactic Master Borucki’s son has used to great effect is to disarm the bully with a witty remark or humor. For example, if a bully brags by saying something that is obvious such as, “I’m stronger than you,” you could reply, “Well, duh!” You can also simply laugh at his comment and walk away calmly and with confidence.
Walk with friends whenever you can. It’s much more difficult for a bully to go after a group than it is an isolated individual, especially if your friends are prepared to stand up for you. Remember, bullies look for easy targets! Likewise, be prepared to stand up for other students who are bullied.
If you are being bullied, talk openly and honestly about the situation with your parents and teachers. Remember, nobody deserves to be bullied. For more information on bully prevention, visit the Bully Free Program.
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